(Source: fyeah-hedgehogs, via phantasmagoria46)
Two years ago, this weekend, I was working in the city for the ACLU with too many blisters and a penchant for bad situations.
Last year, this weekend, I had an out from the land of the cows and I seized it for King of the Hill, great laughs, great people, a memorable cat, and an emotionally raw moment. Undeniably, it was the first real memorial day weekend I ever had and it was nice.
This year, I’m living with a male housemate for the first time, made some new friends, and applied to a shitton of jobs throughout town. Now I am in limbo, but I’m sure it will be a good day.
“Desks want to get messy. Letters and importunate unsolicited manuscripts and bound galleys pathetically crying for attention hang out at the corners, until they fall off.
Our task as we sit (or stand or lie) is to rise above the setting, with its comforts and distractions, into a relationship with our ideal reader, who wishes from us nothing but the fruit of our best instincts, most honest inklings, and firmest persuasions.”
—John Updike
Photograph and quotation from The Writer’s Desk by Jill Krementz (Random House, 1996)
My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh my god
- I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
- When chemists die, they barium.
- Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
- I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
- They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
- We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
- Broken pencils are pointless.
- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
- All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
- Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
- A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
- The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
- Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
The Great Gatsby (2012) - Official Trailer
This looks like quite the spectacle.
Oh my gosh. Super excited.
(Source: bookriot, via libraryland)
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
(Source: -kunis, via organicchemicalimbalance)
(via kimberleymay)
Just attempted to have a discussion with my so-called liberal mother on gender identity and sexuality
She’s saying that it’s a niche community and discussing things like gender neutral housing and bathrooms is a waste of time. Just… wow.
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
(Source: going-to-scranton, via disenchanted-muggle)
I’ve been on an egg kick lately. This generally happens when I’m home considering the easy access I have to wonderful farm fresh ones. Anyway, I’ve discovered the most delicious and unexpected combination. Egg and nutmeg. Amidst caramelized onions, various types of pepper, gruyere, and oregano, nutmeg gives it this jazzy little kick. Now I’m starting to sound like a cooking advice column in Better Homes and Gardens, but I just wanted to share this because my life has become so dreadfully boring that I find this exciting.
What a trickster!
(Source: picturesandquotes.net, via gillyz)
